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  • Reading: Locke & Key
  • Playing: Final Fantasy XIV Heavensward
  • Eating: Christmas Food
  • Drinking: Julebrus
Since we're nearing the end of yet another year, I figured it was time for a little small "Not dead yet!" update from me to you. :D And also say my farewells to this shitty shit shit of a year - cause, come on, it really has been a pretty shitty one. :dummy:

Well, what can I say? My last proper update was shortly after grandpa's funeral back in June, I believe.

It's been a rough year for me in a lot of ways, mostly because my health has been an absolute ass and just can't seem to drag itself the fuck together. We tried some new medication combos and they just totally fucked me over so everything's just meh on that end. I am exhausted 24/7 and in constant pain, but I'm doing my best to stay afloat. The worst part, really, is the depression and the anxiety, cause at times it can be really overwhelming and it drowns me a lot - but, again, I do my best to stay afloat, and even though there are a lot of bad days, I also have good days. I hang on to those. =)

There's been a lot of death this year, unfortunately. And I'm not just talking about the gazillion - and rather heartbreaking - celebrity deaths that has been this year (although, damn, it's been a lot of those), but there's been death in my personal life, and in the lives of those around me that I care about. For me personally, I've lost 3 people this year, and had to attend two funerals (couldn't attend the last one cause it was too far away), and we've been sort of waiting on a 4th (my grandmother on the mother's side of the family got cancer, and it hit the point of no return a short while ago). My grandpa's passing was hard, cause he was so dear to us all, but at least we had been expecting that one from some time. Then, on the 9th of november, my grandmother on my biological father's side of the family suddenly passed away. It was unexpected and strange, and it was hard because I have a very complicated and difficult relationship to that part of my family, so dealing with the entire thing just completely wrecked me. And on the 29th of november, a friend of mine was killed.. Granted, I hadn't known her for too long, but in the short time we knew eachother we did get pretty close and I had grown rather fond of her, so her sudden death came as a heartbreaking shock - especially since she was only 25 years old, and she left behind a husband and two kids. Her death was so unecessary - she was attacked and beaten to death - and it just fills me with such frustration that we still live in a world where something like that can happen. And a lot of people that are dear to me have lost people - family and friends - this year, so it's just been so much death.

Then I drove myself a little too hard physically and came rather close to a full breakdown - both physically and mentally - and I've had to fight rather hard to keep myself going. My apartment has been a nightmare to overcome this year - mostly cause I haven't had the health to tackle it - but at one point I really had no choice but to push myself in order to do something about it, cause I was expecting guests to come live with me for christmas this year and the place had to be liveable in time for that. And I did push, to the point where I am barely functional at all right now. I don't know what I am running on anymore, cause I ran out of steam a long time ago. XD But at least I managed to take care of the apartment, so that's one less worry off my mind, and now I can mainly focus on trying to salvage what's left of my health.

There's been death, health problems, Trump, lots of world problems in general, and then there's the fact that, without exception, every single person that I love has had a rather shitty year with lots of troubles and rough things happening, and it just breaks my heart to know that everyone's been in so much pain - both physically and emotionally. So yeah, I am not just complaining or exaggerating when I say that it's been a shitty year - 2016 wins the award as the shittiest year I have ever experienced thus far, so, congratufuckilations to you, 2016! :dummy:

But, as shitty as it has been, I can't say that it's been just bad, cause, in the words of one of my favourite artists, Owl City: Every mushroom cloud has a silver lining. XD

This year has been the worst I've seen so far, and yet it has brought one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and it's been the one thing that has helped me get through these last couple of months of shittines. A while back I started playing Final Fantasy XIV a Realm Reborn and got instantly hooked on it - best fucking mmorpg I've ever played in my entire god damn life, hands down - and through that amazing game I met the world's most amazing man that has brought a kind of joy and happiness to my life that I haven't experienced in years, namely my boyfriend. And he really is amazing in every single way, and thanks to his incredible support these past 3 months I've managed to stay afloat even though I've just wanted to collapse so many times. He really is my pillar of strength, and no matter how bad I feel he always manages to make me smile somehow, and I am very much in love with him. :heart:

Also, despite all the stress and the hardships, and a lot of things being different this christmas - grandpa not being with us, mum and dad having a new house, two extra people visiting - the holidays have been good. Tiresome, but good. I've had most of my loved ones around me, I have a roof over my head, I got good food, and nice presents, so all in all it's been really good. Yeah, life's been hard, but I'm still alive, and I am thankful for that. =)

Do I have any plans for 2017? Not really. I wanna spend time with my boyfriend, obviously, keep gaming, try to recharge and rebuild my health a little, and hopefully get my apartment to the point where I can sell it and buy a house instead since I can't actually afford to live here anymore. ^^; And ofc keep doing art inbetween things when I find the inspiration for it. That's about it, really. I hope and pray that 2017 will bring good things, both for me and my loved ones - as well as everyone else out there - and that everyone will find that piece of happiness that they deserve. I hope this holiday season have been good to you guys, and I wish you all a happy new year when the wheels turn and we finally get to wave goodbye to 2016!

And to wrap up this journal I just want to post something I wrote earlier this year, cause I still think it's a pretty important thing that I want you all to read and take to heart. So, take care of yourselves, and I hope you all have a brilliantly good year in 2017! Lots of love to you all~ :heart:

Take your time to hug your loved ones, and tell them that you love them. Appreciate the small things, and the small moments, because they're so much more important than you know. Embrace both the good and the bad, and be grateful for being able to be there to experience them. Live life to the fullest, and do the things that make you happy, and don't think too much about what others may think or say about you. Live for YOU, and do good where you can - but never at your own expense. Stand up for yourself, your beliefs, and the ones you love, and don't let anyone bring you down. You're better than you think, and worth so much more than you could ever dream, and never forget that you're loved. Stay strong, stand tall, but allow yourself to fall down and feel weakness. Laugh from the heart, and love with all of your being. You only get one life, and it's short, so make the best out of it.

I am just briefly coming out of my hiatus/hibernation/omg-the-world-is-scary-I'm-hiding to share this and ask that people go take a look and see if there's anything they can do - share it onwards or perhaps help donate. One of my favourite artists - whom is a brilliantly wonderful person as well - is in trouble and in need of help. ;w;

I COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS WITHOUT YOUWe did it. I was in despair and completely hopeless and you guys showed me how much LOVE and SUPPORT there is out there. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I am the happiest owl ever, I wish I could hug everyone who shared, donated or just gave me a word of support.
I promise from the bottom of my heart to continue making art and improving myself as an artist and as a person. This computer was funded and built 100% with your kindness and love. And this is beautiful. I will never forget this day. 
edit: I'll call my pc Garnet, cause this thing is made of love

If she doesn't get a new PC, she can't keep working, and her main source of income is gone. D:
This must be fixed! \o/

Thank you for your time~
~A :heart:
  • Listening to: Spotify
  • Reading: Suddenly in the Depths of the Forest, by Amos Oz
  • Playing: Pokémon GO and Pokémon Omega Ruby
I'm considering finally investing in some new coloured pencils - after having used the same ones for OH SO MANY years - and quite possibly saving up for a rather large set. But, I have no idea which brand to go for, and I'm kind of picky when it comes to the kind of pencils I use, so I'm looking for tips and generally hear everyone else's opinions on pencils.

The set I've been using for years now is actually a cheap one with no brand name (these amazing guys right here), and I absolutely LOVE them. Best pencils I've ever had. According to a friend of mine that knows a little more about technical stuff than me, what I like, apparently, is the hard graphite that's used. Expensive brands are softer, for easier colour blending, which is something I really dislike, cause they smudge. I don't like smudging. But they can't be too hard either, cause then they do no kinds of blending whatsoever. The ones I have are perfect, cause they're hard, but they can still do a little blending, and they don't smudge. If I could, I'd just buy more of those - to refill the ones I'm out of, and get more varied shades - but since they have no brand name I can't seem to find them again. And I've been searching for YEARS! So, I give up on that, and I'm looking into investing in a set with an actual brand name so it'll be easier to refill.

But! I have no idea where to start looking. What kind of brand is good for my taste/use? And with lots of good colour options? All I know is that I've tried Derwent, and I couldn't stand them. I use the Staedtler coloured pens for my lineart, and I really love them, so I'm considering trying out their pencils. Anyone got any experience with those? Any other brands I should look into? What kind of pencils do YOU guys use/like?

plz halp? X3
  • Listening to: Aurora in Faeriland, from Maleficent
  • Reading: Suddenly in the Depths of the Forest, by Amos Oz
  • Watching: Arrow
  • Playing: Pokémon GO
  • Eating: Skittles
  • Drinking: Juice
Tagged by Valravna

Rules: tag 8 people 
(I will not abide by the rules, moahaha)

Anett Susann Wargmo
But I horde nicknames and love it when people give me new one, mainly because I dislike people using the name Anett. Bad relations, I'm afraid.

Zodiac sign:
According to the old western, I'm a Capricorn (which does NOT fit me at all, lol)
According to the new corrected one, with 13 signs, I'm a Saggitarius (which is way more fitting)
According to the Chinese one, I'm a fracking Rat. =|
I'm pretty sure I'm born in the wrong world, though, so my proper zodiac sign is probably something entirely different. :dummy:

Sleep hours:
Ahahahahahaha!!! ...Funny.
I have fibromyalgia, so if I get any proper sleep at all then I get really surprised.
I do try to go to bed at around 23:00-midnight, and I try to get out of bed at around 10:00

Lucky number:

Last thing you googled:

Favourite fictional character:
Tough choice, cause there are so many amazing characters out there. Buuut... I have to say Link from the Legend of Zelda (specifically; the Ocarina of Time incarnation)

What are you wearing now?:
PJ pants and an old top, all covered in spots cause I'm currently bleaching my roots so I can re-dye my hair. XD

When did you start your DA account?:
My first account was started 9 years ago, actually (this is my 3rd account). Omfg, time sure flies.

Number of watchers:

What do you upload to DA?:
Art and concept sketches related to my personal work. Most of it is portraits of my characters, cause that's what I enjoy drawing the most.

Do you have other blogs?:
I have a blogspot that I haven't used in ages cause I've been too sick to sit down and write.
And, uh, I'm registered do tumblr, but have no idea how that place works, and I don't like it, so I probably won't ever use it. XD

Do you get many comments?:
Not really, which is totally fine cause I'm terrified of getting critiques of any kind cause my art is so personal and I take any negativity aimed at it very badly. XD

Why did you choose your username?:
Because I like to pretend that I am a designer, and Wargmo is my last name - and it's a name I am incredibly proud of and that has a lot of personal meaning. Also, one of my dreams is to have my own business where I'm the lead designer, and if I ever do then it will be named Wargmo Design. ;p

Who do I tag?

YOU! *points at whomever's reading this*
And every single one on my friend/watch-list, because hah!
Seriously, I expect to see every single one of you do this now, BECAUSE I SAID SO.

And that would be all, now I'll go back to my hibernation/hiding/cave again~
  • Listening to: The Girl by Hellberg ft. Cozi Zuehlsdorff
  • Reading: Cemetary Shift, by Vilhelmina
  • Watching: Gintama
  • Playing: Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright
  • Eating: Candy
  • Drinking: Juice
I live. I think. It's kind of hard to tell these days, lol.

So, grandpa passed away. It's been 3 weeks since his funeral, and my mind is still not really processing. Him being gone? Makes no sense. But it was a beautiful funeral, with so many wonderful words about the amazing man that he was. Because he truly was amazing - and not just because he was my grandpa, and the patriarch of the family. He was a hard-working man in every way, focused in his job, and a carpenter, plumber, car mechanic, electrician, father, husband, grandfather, leader, and, oh gods, you have no idea how much he did and how well he did it. The world is a little emptier now that he's not around. It's been hard for the family, but we're moving forward together. We're already starting to manage a lot better. We know that grandpa wouldn't want us to stop our lives just because he's not here anymore, so life goes on in his honour. We're doing fine. =)

My health just keeps getting worse, and my depression is tagging along on that ride downward, my art block is back, and I've hit a wall in my work, and, uh, yeah. I suppose I could've been better. XD Yeah, okay, I'm not doing good, but, stubborn as I am, I am hanging in there. This is just a bad period, and at SOME point it HAVE to end. Right? Right. I refuse to give up! *shakes cane at empty air* I'm too fabulous to just give up, you know~ :heart:

I've gotten pressies! Two of my closest friends - whom sadly lives in other countries - both sent me stuff to cheer me up. My BFF from New Zealand sent me her usual care package, stuffed with things that I like (she does that pretty often, crazy woman), and my darling Magalink bought me Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright! I've never played any of the Fire Emblem games, but she's a huge fan and have been wanting me to try them out, and now she finally got me hooked. Birthright is amazing! And it's been a really good distraction from everything that is shiz in my life, so I am incredibly grateful for it. Thank you, my darlings~ :hug:

Oh, and I'm going away this weekend. I'm going down south for a convention called Desucon (me and my sister go there every year), and I'm really excited. I wasn't going to do any cosplaying this year, because of my health being what it is, and I just haven't had any motivation to make anything, but the care package I got from NZ contained two amazing items that just filled me with inspiration, so I threw together some real quickly done cosplays that I'll be using. Talk about last minute creativity, lol. They're both self-imagined "characters" of sorts, so nothing interesting. One is a gypsy fortune teller with a steampunk flare to it, and the other is one I've named the "Adventuring Zelda." XD From some alternate storyline where Link has gone missing, and Zelda decides to go find him, and since she can't go traveling as a princess she dresses up as an adventurer, dons Link's hat (cause he left it behind idk), and head's off. XD I know, it's silly, but whatever. I might just post some pics when I get back home again~ (I'll be posting stuff on my instagram while I'm down there, though, just so you know)

I haven't been doing any work or art lately, sorry about that. All my inspiration seems to have vanished, and my brain has come up with some idiotic ideas that would require me to rewrite everything. Again. For the nth time. So I'm just about ready to give up on it all and burn it. So, yeah, I'm gonna take a little break, lol. When or if I do doodles, however, I'll keep posting them to my instagram as usual. Oh, but I do have some race concept sketches I haven't uploaded yet, and a finished drawing, so I'mma get around to uploading those in a not too distant future.

And that would be all, really.
I hope you're all doing okay, and that you're taking good care of yourselves and your loved ones.
In a world filled with war and hate, be someone that brings love and good things.
Cheers~ :heart:
  • Listening to: PurpleSchala
  • Reading: Mogworld
  • Watching: Ajin
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Record Keeper
  • Eating: Candy
  • Drinking: Beer
Because, in the great scheme of things, that's the one update that really matters, eh? And since I've now given you an update on my life and it's oh-so-wonderful situation *poses in SarcasmQueen outfit* I can move on to actually talking about the interesting stuffs~ Said stuffs being my art, of course. I mean, that's kind of why most of you are all stalking me, right? Right? Right.

Well, the one and only good thing that comes out of life being shiet is that I drown myself in my work, and my art gets a lot more attention than it usually gets, and I've started to see some interesting changes. Well, improvements, actually. I've started experiementing more, and pushing myself out of my comfy zone, and just generally trying to approach my art from new angles. And I personally think it's starting to pay off, because I can clearly see improvements in a lot of things - especially my lines and my colouring, but also what I'm capable of drawing. My most recent discovery regarding that was actually today, when I was sketching out yet another character from Awakening, as this was the first time I've taken on drawing someone that's a full anthro - and not just a half-breed of some kind - and I didn't really break a sweat. In fact, I think it turned out absolutely brilliant! Just got the lines done so far, but I aim to colour it next week so I can post it. I dare say it's my best portrait yet.

I'm back to doing portraits again, yeah. It's always been my favourite thing to draw for some reason, and so I'm currently focusing on drawing portraits of all the characters from Awakening (there's, ah, 65 of them, so I got a ways to go before I'm done), along with continuing on the concept sketches of the 150+ races from my world. I'll keep posting things as I work, so you all get to see, of course, though I still highly encourage you to follow me on instagram if you really want to stay in the loop of things, cause I post sketches and stuff almost daily there.

Oh, and yesterday I finished an interesting little project. It was my mum's birthday - she turned 55, that awesome woman - and what she wanted the most was a colouring book. They're really popular these days, and she wants so badly to have a go at them, but she can't buy any of the normal ones because there's too many details and she's got a lot of problems with her hands and arms (ahces and inflammations all the time). So, I had an idea, and me and my sister had a go at being a little creative. I printed out a couple of free colouring pages from the interwebs (Tinkerbell, angels, and Betty Boop, cause those are some of her favourite things), and then me and my sister each drew some drawings with lineart on them, and then put it all together into a customized colouring book. For a first time attempt, I think it turned out great, and she absolutely loved it - which was the most important part - and I gotta say that it felt great to try something a little different.

I've started to really enjoy challenging myself on the art front, which is something I haven't done in years. I think this bodes well for my future artsy stuff. :dummy: So, yeah, all in all, art is doing rather well these days. Better than ever, in fact, and I do believe I am about to thoroughly kick this stupid art block's ass and make a full recovery from it's OMFGtooManyYearsOfOccupatingMyLife.

What's on my work list?
Well, primarily it's Awakening and it's three parts - the game (called Clavirae), the comic, and the story with the RP setting.
Secondly, I've got another comic planned, called Lost in Time, that'll feature some saucy time travelling and shenanigans.
And then I'll move on to Citizen Soldiers again, most likely. We'll see~

Either way, keep staying awesome, and keep being artsy fartsy, my dears!
Lots of love~ :heart:
  • Listening to: Halsey
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Record Keeper
  • Eating: Candy
  • Drinking: Coffee
It's been a while since I posted any updates on personal stuff, so, ah, I figured I should do that. Yeah.

I don't even know what the eff to say, to be honest. Life's been incredibly difficult lately, and right now I'm just drowning myself in my own work and putting all my focus on my world, because that's the best way for me to cope. I don't deal well with shiz. ^^;
Personally, my health has been a struggle for a loooong time now. Quit the old meds I was on for my fibromyalgia and started on new ones, and while it has improved certain things, it has worsened others, and left the rest on a standstill. All in all, no real improvement, so I still walk around with a cane and barely have enough energy to push myself through the days. It's frustrating. And with my depression being an absolute arse on top of that, I feel like I'm in a constant battle with my own existence. It's a good thing I'm used to fighting, though. I'm high level on that area. XD Things are rough, and have been for a while, but I'll manage. I always manage, in the end, and this won't be any different.

But what's really making difficult isn't my personal health, but my family. We're going through a rather horrible time, and everyone's really struggling. My grandfather's cancer has decided to enter the point of no return, so, we're all trying to come to terms with him leaving us. Grandpa is 72 years old, young at heart and mind, one of the strongest men I know of, and the patriarch of our family. And right now he's making arrangements and planning his own funeral. That's... Really hard on us all. I don't even know how to deal with it, to be honest, so whenever I try to think about it my mind just goes blank and I can't form a single coherent thought. It's just too surreal. Dad's being dad, trying to pretend everything's okay, but I know he's struggling. He's always been so close with his father, and he depend on him so much, so this is just an absolute nightmare for him. Grandma is barely functioning, and I don't even know how my sister's doing. She's very close with our grandparents - they're her biological grandparents, after all (I'm just a bonus-grandkid, since dad's not my biological father) - and she almost spends more time at their place than at home. And on top of all of this, she's struggling personally, with depression and anxiety, and the fact that Mother Nature did a delivery failure and had her born in a male body. Nice job on that one, MN. *glares at* So, yeah, she's having it rough on all ends. And then there's mum, trying her best to be the strong one for everyone else, and just ignoring herself in all of it. Needless to say, my family's a mess these days. And I hate the fact that my health is leaving me incapable of being there for any of them, so I'm just feeling pretty useless.

Times are tough, but we're doing our best. We can't really do much other than just keep walking forward, and hope that things get easier as we go. Somehow, we'll make it through this, one step at a time.

Life is short.

Take your time to hug your loved ones, and tell them that you love them. Appreciate the small things, and the small moments, because they're so much more important than you know. Embrace both the good and the bad, and be grateful for being able to be there to experience them. Live life to the fullest, and do the things that make you happy, and don't think too much about what others may think or say about you. Live for YOU, and do good where you can - but never at your own expense. Stand up for yourself, your beliefs, and the ones you love, and don't let anyone bring you down. You're better than you think, and worth so much more than you could ever dream, and never forget that you're loved. Stay strong, stand tall, but allow yourself to fall down and feel weakness. Laugh from the heart, and love with all of your being. You only get one life, and it's short, so make the best out of it.

  • Watching: Disney movies
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Coffee
The changing of names, that is~

Yeah, as you can probably see (if not, omg, you're blind! The eff you doing on an art site then? 0.o ), I've decided on changing my artist name.
Now I'm officially going by Wargmo Design! :dummy:

I'm working on changing my name all over my social medias, to get them up to date, and hopefully I'll be done with all of that today! I've gotten my instagram and twitter changed already, AND I've made a new email JUST for my artwork (!), so now it's just my facebook page(s) left, which is taken its bloody time. There's a lot of work needing to be done on facebook, but I do plan on keeping my art page and just renaming it (instead of merging it or making a new one), since I'm just 10 likes away from 100 likes there! Err... And the second I typed up that the page updated to its new name. XD Well, there we go then! Now I'm just going to work on rearranging and organizing some things here and there all over the interwebs, and then I'm done!

New year, new beginnings, new projects, new stories, and a new name to go along with it~ :heart:
Thanks for still sticking around and keeping me company!
You guys are the best~ :hug:

  • Listening to: Two Steps From Hell
  • Reading: Work notes
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Leftovers
  • Drinking: Juice
Yessss, I am CONSIDERING changing the name of this account. Again. And if so, the name will be changed to Wargmo Design, as a way to combine two different "businesses" of mine. To better understand the reasoning behind this, you should have a bit of background information.

This is the name of my multiversed world, in which all of my work and stories takes place. The word arcaiia is an ancient word (in this world's lore) that literally translates to "existence", which was what the world was named in the beginning, but since the language it's from is now dead and gone, people just use the word Arcaiia as it's name. The stories about my many characters are named Souls of Arcaiia, because, in the end, that is what my work is all about - following the story of certain souls within our existence, from one life to another. My stories takes place over vast periods of time, and although our bodies may expire, and we die, our souls go on to be reborn anew, sprouting even more stories. This is why I chose the name Arcaiia as my "artist alias" in the first place - to attract more attention to this world of mine.

Wargmo Design
This is a semi-business I've had planned for years, yet never really gotten around to doing (so it's mainly just on a hobby-basis atm), built around my absolute love for design. Although I am very fond of my work regarding Souls of Arcaiia, the number one thing I take most pride in is being the designer-soul that I am. I design clothes, accessories, weapons, buildings, vehicles, characters, worlds, and, ultimately; stories. I am not the creator of Arcaiia - I am its Designer. I am also quite fond of crafting, and over the years I've worked on creating quite a lot of things, though I aim to get even better at that. One of my resolutions for this year is to become better friends with my sewing machine, after all, so that I can start sewing the clothes I've designed. Overall, I want to start moving beyond just designing stuff, and actually make those doodles of mine come to life, and when I do that, it will be under the name of this hobby business of mine.

For those of you whom doesn't know me personally, you may not know that my last name, Wargmo, is a unique name, as no one else in the world has it (for now, at least. I have plans on startin a clan and then taking over the world). I made it myself, after all~ So, what I've been thinking of lately is merging these two passions of mine into one - the work on Souls of Arcaiia and my designing/crafting - creating just ONE source for my work (right now I've got two facebook pages, one for my artwork and one for my design/crafting). This would then mean that I won't just upload my artworks and my work on Arcaiia as a world, but also the many things I design and create (I'll also start posting more sketches and WIPs for you all, as I'll be sharing ALL of my work and not just SOME of it). If I go through with this, I'll also be changing the name of my instagram account, and my work twitter. Not entirely sure what to do regarding my facebook pages, though I'm considering trying to merge them.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what you, my dear watchers, think of this! :dummy:
Are you for or against this namechange/merging of businesses?
Your opinions on the matter are quite important to me, as your continued support is what keeps me going~ :heart:
  • Listening to: Gåte
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Drinking: Beer
Happy new year, everyone~! :dummy:
How're you all doing? Is the new year treating you well so far? Got any exciting plans for 2016? Share, share~

How things are on MY end? Well. I got up on this tall box for a reason, you know. Huh? What you mean you didn't know I was on top of a box? I made a huge effort climbing up here, just to get everyone's attention, and you're telling me you didn't even notice?! Frack it. Well, I'd climb down, but I'm afraid of heights, so, ah, I'm just gonna stay here for a while.


I'm a drama queen. :dummy: Pff, don't pretend you're surprised, cause we're all very well aware of that fact, as I've never made any kind of attempts to hide it. But what I've made a drama out of this time? My horrible crisis, and how it would ruin my life forever and ever. To be fair, though, it has been a pretty bad crisis for me, and it's one that has been building up for the last couple of years or so. I had been running around in circles regarding my work - the building of this grand world of mine and all its stories - and had lost sight of the reason for it all. When I first started out with this work, ages ago, I did so to record the stories of an ongoing RP I started on as a very young girl. Yush, I got thrown into the world of RPing before I was even a teenager, so I've got a lot to brag about there~ It was a daily thing, even, so the stories that came from that were many, and deep, and they're a very dear part of my life - and will forever have a very precious place in my heart. They're part of what made me who I am, after all. Then, when I took the leap from being someone that played games every now and then to being a proper GAMER (thank you, Ocarina of Time, for showing me my real self), I started expanding on this RP world of mine with the idea of making a game. And, later on, as a teenager, when I was neck deep in magical girl transformation animes (hello, Sailor Moon!), I wanted to make animes out of the RP stories. And I kept writing stuff down, with the idea of making books out of them, and overall, over the years, it has just expanded and expanded to the point where I no longer knew what I was doing. And that was when I started spiraling downwards, which eventually had me crashing face first into a horrible wall last year. I had lost my way. I didn't even know why I was doing what I was doing, and I just lost sight of every little dream I've ever had over the years. Which is why I decided to take a break from it all, to push it all aside for a while, in hopes of figuring things out at a later time.

Well. That break didn't last long. A couple of weeks? Maybe less? Well, needless to say, the moment I put my work away, and climbed out of the deep hole I had been digging, I caught a glimpse of something I hadn't seen before. I was so neck deep within all those deep holes that I've dug over the years, exploring this world of mine and its stories, that I failed to see that they all come together to form a pattern. Taking a step back, and getting a better view of it all, helped me see that. And wow, do I see it. I see a whole new path to take, and I'm not going to hesitate in walking down that path. I've already started on it, and I'm certain that nothing can stop me now.

What does it all mean for my work? Well, what's been done so far was all backstories and various info all revolving around my OCs and their worlds, and although it's all good info to have, I am going to put it away. The stories brought forth by the RP will just stay as they are, as I have no intention of pursuing any of them at the current time. No, I have something new in mind, which means putting aside everything I've worked on so far, to start it all over from the start. A fresh, new beginning, so to speak. It's a new year, after all, with new things, and a new path to follow. That doesn't mean that everything I've worked on these past 20 years has been for nothing, because it all serve as a base of sorts - a rough sketch, you might say - that I'll be building this new work of mine on. I've already started diving into it, working on a lot of fancy concept art regarding races, worlds, classes, and genders (!), all to serve as a stepping stone to complete the stories I have in mind - and the purpose behind them. This means - for you, dear watchers - that I'll start posting stuff again soon. And most of it is going to be all that concept stuff I'm working on now, cause I'm almost working 24/7 now. XD Getting my head back into this makes it difficult for me to put it down and do anything else, lol.

And it helps, on a personal level, to have my work to focus on again - on a deeper level than just flailing about and doing doodles here and there like I've been doing these past couple of years or so - as it's a nice way to let my head have a break from everything else going on in and around me. I'm not gonna go in on that here, but I just want to say that life right now is complicated, and hard, and we're all struggling in a lot of ways. Hopefully, things'll get better as the year progresses. Fingers crossed for that~

But, yeah. My crash and burn chaos of a personal life aside, I just wanted to share the happy news that my work has finally taken a new turn, and hopefully this'll be the path it's supposed to be on. I'm personally very excited about it, and have already started posting a little bit about it on my facebook page (the latest post is about the genders common to my world, and I'm personally very proud of that work, cause one of my goals for 2016 is to challenge our society's perception of genders, gender identities, and gender roles), and I hope everyone else will enjoy it as much as I am.

Want to stay updated on things?
My facebook page is a good place to start, as I share a lot of my ramblings there.
My instagram is where I post all of my doodles as I work on them, so it's the best place to stay updated on my art.
I have a twitter related to my work/art, though the only things posted there are my instagram posts.
My main personal twitter is filled with every single random thought that pops into my head, so it can sometimes be good thing to follow. But not always. You've been warned.

And, hopefully, I'll soon get back to updating my dA more often, so just keep watching me to see what I have to share~

There's really not much else to say. Oh! Next week, on friday, I'll level up! One whole year of exp is finally filling up my bar, and I'll jump from being level 30 to level 31! (birthdays are way more awesome when you have a gamer's point of view, imo) Got no real celebrations parties planned (tho I'm considering going out for a couple of beers), but I'm definitely going to enjoy growing one level. I mean, I've survived yet another year with all the stuff the world and life has thrown at me, and I do think that's something to celebrate. So yeah, I've got that to look forward to~

I hope you guys are all doing well, and that you had a joyful yuletide and a great new years eve, and I wish you all the best in this new year~!
~ASW :hug: :heart:
  • Listening to: My Xmas playlist on spotify
  • Watching: Xena, the Warrior Princess
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Rengakaka
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate
Well, the crisis may not be all that horrible for anyone else, but for me it's the biggest wall I've ever plunked nose-first into, and I've fallen on my fat ass and can't get up. I don't even know HOW to get up, to be honest, cause I've never dealt with a problem like this before. And said problem is my work. My precious work, that I've spent 20 years working on (as I keep mentioning over and over again because, fack, 20 years is a loooong time!), and that is about 90% of my life - I don't know why I'm doing it. After all this time, I suddenly realize that I have no idea where I am going with it, what the purpose of it is, or what I personally want from it. I don't know what the ultimate goal at the end of this quest is anymore. I thought I knew, but I really don't. I have no idea. And... I don't know what to feel. I don't know how to react to this. I have NO IDEA how to handle it. I realize, now, that I am utterly lost, and I don't know how to find my way back - because I don't know where that "back" is, nor do I know where I was going in the first place. This is so horrible for me that I can't even cry. I want to, but it's like my entire system has just shut down. I've lost my purpose in life. It may sound stupid and dramatic to you, but to me that's how much my work has meant to me over the years - it's been my only purpose to go on. And now I've lost that.

The only feeling I am capable of feeling is numbness.

So, as per advice from a different corner of my head (thanks, Annie), I am now taking a break from my work, and everything related to it. I am stepping back, and putting it away, and I have no idea when, or if, I'll pick it up again. All I know is that I need to just get away from this and catch my breath for a while. So yeah, I haven't exactly been all that active around here these past couple of years (sorry about that), and although I will keep doing doodles of various kinds (most of them'll just be posted to my instagram, but I'll try to get stuff posted here as well), I won't be doing anything related to my work anymore.

That's that. For now.

And then there's the HOOOOOLIIIIIIDAAAAAYS~!

Cause Xmas eve is just a couple of days away at the current writing moment (here in Norway we celebrate Xmas EVE, mainly, and open the pressies then), and although I've had egads shitloads of trouble with EVERYTHING (can't afford to buy pressies, nor do I have the health to sit down and make any I realized while trying to do so, and my yearly baking almost imploded, and omg so many other things I'm not gonna mention that's gone wrong), I am really looking forward to just spending the day with my closest family. :heart: The Xmas food, the beer, the presents, the company, and so much more - I look forward to it all! And I've decided that even though we're all having a hard time, and my mental well-being is, well, NOT well, I'm gonna put all that aside and just enjoy the holidays. I'll deal with the shit next year, cause I want to enjoy what's left of this one. I'm going to focus on the good things, and nothing else. And how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family around me as I have.

And with that, this'll probably the last activity you'll see of me this year (cause I'll be busy getting even more fat on Xmas food, moahahaha!), so I just want to wish you all a Merry Christmas/Xmas, Happy Holidays, and a Joyful Yuletide~! :dummy: And if you don't celebrate the holidays, I just generally wish you a good time during these last days of 2015! And when the time comes, I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May the new year bring you nothing but happiness and joy, and may your dreams be fulfilled. Take care of yourselves, tell your loved ones you love them, and keep being fabulous~

Lots of love~ :heart:
  • Listening to: "Control" by Halsey
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: throat-pastilles ('ve got a cold, ugh)
  • Drinking: Hot chocolate
And as you've probably seen by now, I've finally started uploading the finished art I've scanned. It's going slow, but at least it's something.

Things are rough around here. My family is going through some really heavy things, which has me constantly worrying about several of them, and that on top of my fibromyalgia getting worse, and my depression kicking my ass, and the holidays approaching... I'm not doing too good. And, to make it all even more interesting, one of my disorders has decided to give me a swift kick in the behind, making me come out in the open about it before I'm even ready to deal with it, so that's frustrating. I never came out of the closet regarding my sexuality, cause no one really thought I was straight anyway, so this is my kind of coming out thing, and it's terrifying. So, yeah.
I've got Dissociative Identity Disorder. Tada~
I've had it over half of my life (at least since I was 12, possibly longer), but we've always kept it hidden from everyone. I mean, having alternate personalities that sometimes come popping out can be rather terrifying for others. For me, I've learned to live with it, and it's a nice defence mechanism when things get rough, and me and the Voices in my head get along rather well, now. It's just the whole letting others know about it that's hard, cause it freaks people out. But hey, think of it this way; you get seven for the price of one! =D *is shot* Aaaanyway..

Yeah, disorders and shit aside, life's being an absolute bitch. But I'm still surviving, cause I'm an even bigger bitch than life, and I refuse to give up. I have bad days that are really bad, but I also have good days that are really good. So, I'm still standing. Once we just get through the worst of things, and passed the really rough patches, things'll be fine. I've decided to just ignore the state of my home (omg, you don't even want to know what it looks like right now, cause it's beyond bad), and just focus on keeping myself from falling apart. My apartment can wait - my family can't. And they need me to be strong, so that's what I'm gonna be. Cause I AM strong, you know. A lot stronger than I appear (or give myself credit for), so I can handle all this shiz. *strikes a superhero pose* I'mma survive no matter what!

No, really. I'm going to be fine, so there's no need to worry. Things are shit, but it's all just exp that'll help me level up! ;p


Let's talk about art!

Like I've mentioned a while back, I finally got a scanner. I finished the main part of my art challenge, and I've scanned some of the finished art I've done, and I'll be working on slowly uploading it all bit by bit for a while onwards now. Other than that, I'm mainly just doing doodles and sketches. Got a huge sketching pad that I'm working on filling with nothing but doodles, and I try to do them daily. I post it all on my instagram, so if you want to see my doodles then your best bet is to follow me there~

I'm not working on my work all that much these days, cause I keep working myself in circles. Also, things are going through such a huge change (hello having to rewrite 20 years of work because zeBrain is an asshole), and I'd rather wait until that change is over before I kick up the serious work again. That, and I need a new game plan. Right now I've got so much stuff needing to be worked on, and I'm not sure how to approach any of it.

Also, I got addicted to Skyrim. >w> I finally got a new graphics card, so I can play on my computer, and I finally got to try out Skyrim (I've had it for years, my bro bought it for me ages ago, along with all the expansion packs), and it ated my soul. I am no longer zeAnett! I am... DRAGONBORN!!! :dummy:


Ah, yeah. Well. What I'm trying to say is that things are rough, but I'm getting through it. I've got artsy uploads incoming, and I'm posting (mostly) daily doodles on my instagram. And that's about it, really. I hope you all are doing well, and that you're taking care of yourselves and your loved ones. :heart:

Stay fabulous~
  • Listening to: "Scream my Name" by Tove Lo
  • Playing: Final Fantasy Record Keeper
  • Eating: Turkish Delight and After Eight
I'm in an odd place in my life these days, and it's making me think about all sorts of weird things.
(Actual life/art updates are at the bottom of this entry, if you want to skip my rambling)


So, yeah, why do you do art? What made you start doing art in the first place, and what has kept you going? What motivates you, as an artist? What's your "purpose" for doing art? Share with me your thoughts and feelings on the matter, cause I really want to know.
I guess my problem is that I am having trouble finding people that approach art the same way I do, and I am seriously struggling with explaining to people how and why I do art. I'm feeling a little alone in my boat here, and for the first time in my entire life, I am actually bothered by it.

See, I don't do art because I want to be an artist - that has never been (nor will it ever be) the purpose behind my approach to art. I do art purely as a way to express myself - to show who and what I am - and to share with the world what I have in my head. Back when I was a kid, I doodled a lot (like most kids do) and learned pretty quickly that drawing was a fun way to show people what I was thinking of. I've been doing art quite literally for as long as I could hold a pencil of any kind. But my serious art business didn't really kick in until I was about 11 years old, when I actually had a bigger purpose for doing art, namely; drawing the world that was starting to expand inside my mind. My first OC, Liz, is 100% based off my childhood imaginary friend - Elizabeth - and all in all she was the one that started my serious doodling. And from there the ball just kept rolling, and now I have a gigantic multiverse with hundreds of characters and a gazillion tons of info, and the only reason I'm still doing art is because I want to share all of that with you. I want to share it with the world. That is, quite literally, at least 75% of the reason for why I am doing art. The last 25% is because it's my only way of showing people who I am, because I suck at words.

This makes me a highly difficult artist to approach - I am well aware of that. And it has also started causing some rather serious issues for me when sharing my art. Because I am doing art for these reasons, I don't have the usual drive - or desire - to improve myself that all other artists have, and thus I don't like people helping me with tips and such. My art is me. It's an extension of who I am, and what I have inside me, and every single piece of art I do contains a little piece of my soul. So when I am sharing it with the world, I am simply saying "Here; this is me. This is what I am on the inside." And that puts me in a rather fragile place. For me, showing my art is like stripping naked in front of people, and showing them who I am without clothes. Actually it's worse than that, cause I don't mind being naked at all. Showing my art to people is like stripping down my defences and showing them my soul.

I love getting feedback on my art - as long as it's just to state what particular thing people like the most about it. I am thrilled when people tell me if there's a specific thing about my art that pops out and grabs their attention, cause it gives me the possibility to explore that side of me to try and figure out why it pops out, and why people like it. That's the kind of feedback that makes me want to "improve" and dive even deeper into myself to find new things, and to learn new techniques when it comes to drawing. It's basically like having people point out the good things about you as a person, which naturally makes you happy, and want to strive to be even better.
Negative feedback on my art is horrible. It breaks my heart, and I can get so seriously depressed that I'll spend days crying. I'm not even joking. To me, having someone point out the flaws and bad things about my art is like having someone point out all the things that makes me a horrible person, and that hurts. I've been bullied a lot as a child and as a teenager, and it felt just as bad. But, luckily I very rarely - if ever - get any negative feedback on my art. I guess it's kind of a blessing not to be a well known artists, cause it gives me less haters, lol.
The really difficult feedback, however, is the kind that is meant well, yet it breaks me completely; The people that want to help by telling me how to improve certain things. They mean so well, because they honestly just want to help me improve myself as an artist, and they want to share all kinds of tips and tricks with me so that I can grow and become even better, and I don't have the heart to tell them that they're killing every single desire I have to do art. This right here is my main problem when it comes to art, and the main reason for why I am hesitating when sharing my art.

Let me try and put it into perspective.
You're very self-conscious when it comes to your own body, and your weight/size, and so you dislike stripping down - even if it's just to your underwear. But you do so anyway, and you strip completely naked in front of someone, simply because you want to share with them what you truly look like. And then they tell you; "Wow! You look great! I love what you've done with your body so far. I see some minor flaws, with your belly being a bit too round, but if you just do this kind of training thing I've been doing, then you'll look even better!"

THAT is what it's like for me.

I am not doing art because I want to get better. I am not doing it because I want to make a living out of it. I am not doing it because I want to grow and evolve as an artist. I am doing art because that is how I express myself. Every single line I do is done on purpose - even the flaws! I draw the way I draw because that's the way things look inside my head.  Art, for me, is just a medium, and not something I feel the need to master. Of course, I do want to get better at art, which is why I try new things, and practice, but I want to do that on my own. Everything I know is self-taught! I've never attended an art school. I've never read books or tutorials on how to draw. I draw based on feelings, and I teach myself new things as I go, and I am so damned proud of that. If I am to master art, I want to do so entirely by myself! And this is really hard to explain to people, because they just don't get it. The few times I've tried explaining it, people have gotten offended - or just plainly told me that I am selfish and only want people to boost my ego. And that... Well, it hurt. It broke my heart. And so I stopped explaining, and instead I've learned to just bottle it up and not show my feelings.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, because I've made some rather big leaps regarding my art. I've completed that art challenge of mine - and I personally feel like my various techniques have improved, and I've gotten better at expressing myself as a result of that - and I've gotten a scanner so I can scan all my art. I also got a friggin tablet, because one of my absolute dearest friends, Maga-Link, gave me one, along with photoshop (omfg, she's so fucking amazing and I love her), so I have new ways to play around with my art. All of this is great, and it puts me in a good place (which is extremely helpful with battling my depression), but at the same time it totally petrifies me. I am exploring new ways of expressing myself, and I'm terrified of sharing that because I'm so afraid of what kind of feedback I'll get. Or, more precisely; I'm terrified of getting that "helpful" feedback, where people try to help me improve, because getting it makes me want to shut myself in and close myself up, and stop doing art. It's my defence mechanism, and it's a bad one, I know, but that's just how I am. I guess it's just extra bad these days because of the depression and everything else going on in my life, because it makes me extra fragile. I don't know.

Anyway, my point of all this is that I've yet to come across another artist that has the same approach to art as I do, and so far no one seems to understand me. Am I making any sense, or am I just spitting out stupid nonsense? And, to repeat myself, what's your approach to art? Now that I've shared my reasons, I want to hear yours.

Oh, and on a last note, because I get this question a lot from my loved ones. You want to help me, as an artist, but how? Well, point out the things you like about my art. That's all there is to it, really. I mean, I know there are lots of flaws in my art, but I want to discover those on my own, and figure out ways to deal with them by myself. Fixing flaws is a personal thing, for me. But, as I've already stated, I love hearing what people like about the things I draw. What pops out the most and grabs your attention - in a good way? Knowing that is extremely helpful to me, my art, as well as my work! It motivates me, simply put.

So, there you have it. That's me. That's how I am.

I just want to throw in an extra note, which is taken from my personal blog:
"If I actually do come to you and ask for advice or tips when it comes to my art, then you better be pretty fukken honoured! It literally means that I value your opinions and your abilities more than I value my very own being. I am willing to expose myself, being completely unguarded and open for being horribly hurt, just to hear what you have to say."
Basically, what I mean to say is that if I ever come to you for help, then it's a pretty big deal to me, and I really hope you can understand the significance of that.


Now that the rambling's out of the way, here are some updates:

I bought a scanner, and it works perfectly! I can now scan all my art, and start uploading it to dA again! I just need to get a USB cable first, because right now I've got the scanner hooked up through wi-fi, and it's just seriously unstable. I live in a concrete building, which kind of kills the signal a lot. I don't get wi-fi when I'm on the toilet, annoyingly enough. So yeah, once I get a cable I'll start scanning all the art I did for that challenge, and upload it for you all to see.

I got a tablet! As I said, my dear friend Maga sent me a tablet, and I am slowly figuring out how to use it. I am posting weekly updates every Sunday on my facebook page, so if you follow me there you'll get to see all the weird doodles my tablet exploring produces. XD

The renovations are almost done, but it's going slow right now. Autumn is kicking in, with rain and darkness, and it's killing my body and my head. The fibroshit is acting up, so I am constantly in pain, and I don't get any proper sleep at all these days, so I'm constantly tired. And the depression is kicking my ass on the bad days, which is hard, but I still have good days that help me recharge so I can keep fighting it. Drowning myself in my work really helps, so that's mainly what I've been doing.

OMG I've been doing a lot of work. After I changed my approach to it, things have gotten easier and more exciting, and I am learning new things about my world and my characters every day. It's like I've rekindled my passion for it, and it's absolutely amazing. Hopefully I'll get to start sharing some of that work with you all soon, one way or another. My game is delayed, cause of several issues, but I've bought a new program that is being launched at the end of this month, and I've promised myself that I'll start working more seriously once I get it. Meaning, the first proper thing you'll see of my work is a game! And, most likely, that game will be downloadable to your phone, so yay for that~

Speaking of phone games - I've gotten totally addicted to Final Fantasy Record Keeper. I'm late to the party, I know, but I have it now and it's awesome! Such a great trip down memory lane, it is~! Anyone else playing this awesome game? *w*

Aaaand, that's about it, really. That's what life is like these days. Things are hard, because of the depression and the fibroshit, but I'm doing the best I can to survive.
I hope you're all doing good, my lovelies, and that life is treating you well.
Keep being awesome!
Love you all~

:heart: ASW
  • Listening to: Gåte
  • Reading: One Piece
I'm still alive, despite evidence to the contrary.
It's been a while since my last update, and quite a lot has happened, so figured it was time for a new one.

I've been staying with my parents for the past three weeks while my bathroom had some renovation work done, and I literally JUST came back home again today. My bathroom now has fancy new tiles (instead of yuckish wallpaper that was from the 70s), and I've gotten the toilet installed, so I decided that it was all I needed to move back home. I love my parents, but as an introvert (that is struggling with an asshole depression and a bad health on top of that) it was hard not to have any time to myself for nearly a month, and I also became quite a burden to them, so moving back home felt like the best thing to do. Still have to install the sink, the shower head, and the bathtub, and lots of other minor things before the bathroom is done - and I still have a gazillion minor things to do in the rest of the apartment, so I'm drowning in chaotic mess and work. Woo~

Apartment-whining aside, I've gotten a cane! The fibromyalgia has gotten a lot worse over the summer, and it got to a point where I can walk around much unless I've got something to help me stand, so I invested in a nice-looking cane. Now I really look like a 90-year-old woman. XD I'm really glad I bought the thing, though, and I use it even when I have good days. I tend to overdo things when I'm feeling a bit okay, and walk longer than I should when I have days I can move on my own, so having the cane there reminds me to take it easy, and gives me something nice to lean on to give my feet tiny breaks. It was a good investement.

Now, with the boring apartment and health stuff out of the way, let's move on to the important things; Art!

I gave myself a challenge a while back, after going through my instagram and learning that I had posted a gazillion WIPs that I had yet to finish. I do that a lot, actually - start on a drawing that I have every intention of finishing, and then putting it aside after a while and start on something new, and then I forget about it all. Just having lots of sketches laying around ain't that bad, but having tons of WIPs that you really meant to finish laying around is a whole different matter. So I picked out 25 of those WIPs and challenged myself not to start on anything new until I had finished at least 20 of those WIPs. And so far it's been going better than expected! I'm posting a lot of updates to my instagram - - as well as my facebook - - so keeping tabs on those places will ensure that you're in the loop.

And now, for some REALLY good news: I ordered a scanner!!

Yep, I finally saved up enough money to get myself a new scanner, and hopefully it'll be here next week or so! I'm really excited about this, cause it means that I can start scanning my art again, and then posting here on deviantart for you all to see! And the first thing I'll be scanning, of course, are the finished drawings from my art challenge. ~^o^~ So, yeah, about a week from now, you might get to see some proper artsy updates from me for the first time in forever~!

And I guess that's it.
Now I got to get back to the chaos that is my home and try to make it liveable again.
I hope I'll be able to finish it time for Xmas this year, so fingers crossed for that~

Love you all!
~A :heart:
  • Reading: D.Gray-man
  • Watching: One Piece
  • Playing: Hyrule Warriors
(Yes, I'm still alive and kicking. Life's okay - my health; not so much. But I'll be fine.
I'll post an update on things and such at a later date, when I'm not totally wrecked.)

Pretty much everyone is doing this, so I want to take a moment from my crazy schedule and jump on that~

How long have you been on DeviantArt?
8 years or so, I believe. This is my 3rd account, actually. >.>

What does your username mean?
A literal translation would simply be "existence" - it's a word from my personal work, and it's also the name of the multiverse world of worlds that all my stories take place in. Also, it's from the title of my work; Souls of Arcaiia.

Describe yourself in three words.
Emotional. Daydreamer. Obsessive.

Are you left or right handed?
Right handed in most things, and left handed when eating and when walking with my cane, among other things. I wish I was ambidexterious tho. *o*

What was your first deviation?
This old thing that I made as a quickie gift for a friend of mine:
GA :: Sketch Rayena by KeyJester

What is your favourite type of art to create?
Portraits. It's also the thing I'm best at - which is probably because it's what I've done the most. XD
Also, I love creating characters, which, I suppose, is a type of art as well.

If you could instantly master a different art style, what would it be?
Manga, no doubt about that! My stories are all written as books mainly because I can't draw manga. It's on my list of things I want to learn, though, so perhaps one day I'll fullfil my dream of turning all of my stories into manga. *dreamy determined-face*

What was your first favourite?
My very first one is, unfortunately, labeled as "deviation in storage" so I can't access it anymore.
But my second favourite was this gorgeous piece by plumthedragon~
Butterfly goddess - sketch by plumthedragon

What type of art do you tend to favourite the most?
Tough question. Whatever speaks to me, which depends quite a lot on my current mood and how things are in my life.
I tend to have obsessive periods where all I favourite is one certain thing, and then I move on to some other thing.
It varies. A lot.

Who is your all-time favourite deviant artist?
An even tougher question! I watch a lot of talented deviants, and I love them all for various reasons.
As it is with most of my obsessions, I tend to favour one artist at a time, depending on my mood and life situation, and just jump back and forth between them.
Right now, my current favourite artist to obsess over would be clover-teapot cause her art is just orgasmic.

If you could meet anyone on DeviantArt in person, who would it be?
Ah, what's with the tough questions?? I want to meet everyone. ; ^ ;

How has a fellow deviant impacted your life?
Wow, how can I put it into words? A lot of deviants have had quite the impact on my life, though none as much as my dearest MrsMagalink has! For one, her amazing art made quite the impact on me as an artist, back when I first stumbled upon her (was googling Zelda art, and found one of her older works, years and years and years ago), and watching her was quite the inspiration for me. And then, slowly, I got to know her as a person (and she noticed me! Maga-senpai noticed me! I cried tears of joy~ ), and her friendship made such a huge impact on me as a person. When I finally got to meet her (she invited me to her wedding, omg, I cried even more), it was like meeting a friend I've known all my life. It just felt right, you know? Her constant support and her friendship, and her encouragement, has kept me going through some really rough times in my life, and she's helped me regain a lot of my lost faith in myself and my work. In all honesty, without her I wouldn't be doing art anymore - and I probably wouldn't even be alive. So, yeah, I guess you could say that she made quite the impact on my life! :heart:

What are your preferred tools to create art?
Old fashioned pencil and paper, bebbeh~! Yeah, I'm a traditional artist - always have been; always will be.
(I wish I had a tabled so I could try digital art tho, so I'm saving up for one)

What is the most inspirational place for you to create art?
Right where I'm sitting right now, I suppose. XD Which would be the "office" part of my bedroom, at my desk. I do most of my art here, both because I can take breaks from it and browse the interwebs, and also because it's easier for me to google refs if I need to. XD Also, I'm lazy, and in constant pain, so just sitting here all day is what works best for me. :dummy:

What is your favourite DeviantArt memory?
Ah... I don't know. XD I have some horrible memory problems, and right now my mind went totally blank, lol.
Life is certainly... Life-ish?
Okay, a minor update on stuff: My financial situation sort of stabilized, and my cat is okay. She just had a cold, and it passed after a short while, and now she's going through her "OMFGit'sSpringIWantToGoOutLet'sComplainAboutEVERYTHING" phase. So, yay. And I've scheduled a doctor's appointment for myself, to address certain other issues.

My art situation.
Well, what can I say? I still haven't gotten a scanner, cause them things are expensive and I need time to save up for stuff, and my doodling is spaztic and random. As I've said before, your best bet to keep updated on my artsy stuff is to follow me on instagram - - cause I post stuff there whenever I get around to doodling something.

And, then there's the big issue.
I'm sorry for the inactivity - both here as well as many other online places - and for not responding to people's messages, but it seems that I have managed to fall back into a depression again. Oh, the joy. This is sort of draining my energy in every way, and it's hard for me to stay on top of things and deal with people. I'm not really worried - I'm used to depressions, and since I've gotten out of it beforre, I'm sure I can do it again - but I just want all of you lovely watchers (if I still have any left >.> ) to know that that's the main reason for why I'm not around much. I am working on battling this, and I'm positive that I'll manage to get back on my feet again, but I have no idea how long it'll take. So, again, I just have to apologize; I'm not much of a social person right now, so I won't be able to be around all that much.

I hope you're all doing well, and that you're making sure you enjoy every little good thing in life - no matter how small and insignificant it might seem.
Love you loads~ :heart:
  • Listening to: Two Steps from Hell
  • Reading: The Colour of Magic
  • Watching: Markiplier
  • Playing: Final Fantasy VII
  • Eating: Food...?
Yes, that is a very serious, legit question. .________.

Okay, so, the deal here is that I have fallen into a rather serious financially problematic situation. As in, I have way too many expenses and not enough money to cover it all, and I'm not even sure if I have money for food the next couple of months. Which, normally, wouldn't be too much of a problem. I've survived on a single piece of bread for several months before, and I can definitely do that again, so I'm not really worried for my own sake. It's just that my cat has gotten sick, and I'm worried as fuck right now. I'm hoping it's just a cold, and that she'll get better soon (I've been googling the shit outta this), but if she doesn't get better then I need to take her to the vet, and I can't afford that. I've got a mortgage and tons of other things to pay for, and an appointment to the vet costs more than a doctor's appointment for myself - which is something I actually need, cause I'm not doing so well either, but right now my main worry is my cat - so I have no money whatsoever to cough up for this. And considering my health, I can't really take on commissions either, cause I don't have the capacity for that. What the fuck do I do, then?

Well, I've been toying around with a little something, when I've been well enough to do so, and I've been considering putting up some adoptables for an auction of sorts. One, because these have been fun to make, and I want to share them, two, because adoptables seem to be something really popular around here for some reason, and, three, because moneyz. I needz them. So, yeah. If I put some adoptables out there, would anyone consider buying them? I mean, I know I'm not a really skilled artist with a lot of fans and followers and such, but... Right now I'm out of options, and I'm sort of freaking out a little. But just a little. I think. >.>

Any kind of feedback on this would be really, really, really great.

(and sorry for the ranting, btw, but it's been a rough day, so my mood isn't doing too well)
  • Listening to: Erutan
  • Reading: My lists of OCs
  • Watching: The Legend of Korra
  • Playing: Hyrule Warriors
  • Drinking: Coffee
Hey, all my lovelies~
A happy new year to you all! I hope the holidays treated you well, and you had a good time, and that you got to face the beginning of the new year with optimisme and faith.

First of, a minor update on what's been going on around here.
I've had some rather stressful months, and things haven't really been all that well for me. I haven't had time to focus on my health, and without me noticing it I had started to fall apart at the seams again. I had a great Xmas, though, and a wonderful New Years eve, and I also just turned 30 years of age on the 15th. I had an amazing celebration with a massive party on the 10th with family and friends, and on the actual day I was down south at a hotel, getting a spa treatment, so it was definitely the best celebration ever. And I had my best friend visiting in the middle of all this - she's from New Zealand - and I'm so grateful that she was here, cause she really kept me going through all the rough patches I've been hitting in between everything. Cause there has been a lot of rough patches, unfortunately. Mainly regarding my physical health, but also my mental health has suffered a bit. Aaaand, me and my girlfriend broke up. Not much to say about that, really, other than that things just didn't work out as expected - and hoped. But that's life.

Now I am on my own, in every way. I'm single, and I have the apartment to myself again after a couple of months of constantly having someone here. It's both really great, as well as really depressing. But I'm coping, I think. My health collapsed on me, due to all the stress - both physically and mentally - so now I'm just taking it easy and focusing on myself. Still doing updates in my blog - Jester of Keys - so you can go stalk it if you want to keep track of my personal life. ;p

All that aside, let's talk art!

Still don't have a scanner (cause I'm literally down to zero money atm), so I still won't be uploading anything to deviantart. But! There are other ways of keeping an eye on my artsy stuffs, if you're getting impatient by my lack of activity on the art front. I've got a facebook page, where I sometimes upload things I'm doodling (I use my phone to take pictures of my doodles), and I'm also on instagram as well as twitter, so you can follow me there to see what I'm up to.
My Facebook Page
My Instagram
My Twitter

One of my new year resolutions is to be more active regarding arts, and I'll mainly be using my instagram for that, so if you follow it then you'll be in the loop of things. Also, I'm generally going to be focusing more on my work this year - as in, working on writing the book I've got on my work list - and I'll try to make sure to post updates for my followers to see. I'm still debating wether to post the things I'm writing here on deviantart for you all to read or not, so I still need some time to think about that.

Anyways, I hope you're all doing well, and that 2015 will bring you nothing but good things. :heart:
  • Listening to: "Never be the same again" - Mel C & Lisa Lopes
  • Reading: Various notes
  • Watching: My girlfriend looking all gorgeous on my bed
  • Playing: Hyrule Warriors
  • Eating: Breakfast
  • Drinking: Coffee
Okay, this entry has three points to it, fyi, so keep reading~

*takes a deep breath*
Yes. Had to get that out. As someone whom has been alone for 6 years, this is very shocking, and sort of huge, so I just have to share it with EVERYONE. >w< :heart: I'm headoverheels in love, and life is all pink and fluffy, and we're all sticky and give people diabeetuuuuz~

Secondly: Adoptables.
What the eff?
Just about everyone on my watch list sells adoptables, and I have no idea what the deal is. So, what's the deal? And why is it so popular? What am I missing out on? I really want to know, and I've wanted to know for years, and I still have no idea. I feel so lost and left out of the loop here! ; n ; Tell meeeeeeee~

Thirdly: Poll results!
Yes, this is the main part of the journal, and it covers the result of my little study to find out what people want me to work on first regarding sharing my world with the world. I had the poll here (which, sadly, barely got any votes at all), and then I've talked to friends and family, and had FB peeps message me their opinions, and now I have a result to post!

Starting on the bottom and moving up~

Options 5, 7 and 10 (Backstories, Manga/Comic, Beginners Intro C - the vlog)
Got no votes at all, and are all down on 6th place.

Option 4, Elements of Arcaiia
Got 1 single vote and ended up on 5th place.

Option 2, Souls of Arcaiia (character profiles) and Option 9, Beginner's Intro B (the game)
Both got 2 votes and shares 4th place.

Option 2, Races of Arcaiia
Got 3 votes and is in 3rd place.

Option 1, Worlds of Arcaiia
Got 4 votes and came in on 2nd place.

And, finally:
Option 8, Beginner's Intro A (the book) and Option 6, Teen Warriors (the first story)
Both got 6 votes and ended up on a shared 1st place.

So! I have concluded that I'll start off with the book, since I got two options in first place. All in all, the final list of things I will be working on, in descending order, is as follows:

1) Beginner's Intro - The Guide to Arcaiia (a book that'll contain all the basic info about Arcaiia)
2) Teen Warriors (the very first story, and either I will write the book version, OR I might just make a manga out of it)
3) Worlds of Arcaiia (a detailed description of all the documented dimensions, including maps and common lore)
4) Races of Arcaiia (a complete list of the 200 races along with pictures and information about them all)
5) Beginner's Intro - The game (the game I'm planning that'll give you a nice little intro to the world of Arcaiia, including an introduction of my main characters)
6) Souls of Arcaiia (character profiles with pictures and character sheets over ALL of the characters that shows up in my stories)
7) Elements of Arcaiia (detailed information about all of the 15 elements that are a part of Arcaiia)
8) Backstories - Both as short stories, books, AND manga/comics (the actual stories I've been working on for years)

So there you have it! As I've said, I won't be posting any of this now, or tomorrow, or next month (but quite possibly next year), but I'll start working on that list, starting at the top, and when I'm done I'll be putting it out there in the open for everyone to see. Since I'm starting with the book, my plan is to get all this neat basic info written down, I'll make some nice drawings of stuff and put in there, and then I'll do a kickstarter to get that book printed so I can publish it! =) So, stay tuned, cause exciting things are ahead~

Love you all!
~ A :heart:
  • Listening to: Citizen/Soldier by 3 Doors Down
  • Playing: Hyrule Warriors
  • Eating: Soletti salzstangerl
  • Drinking: Beer
"Whaaaat...? Another devious journal entry, just ONE DAY after the previous one? ze Anett must be going insane."

Ah, well, yes, but that's got nothing to do with this.

I seek the help of all you awesome deviants~

You all know that I've been mucking about this work of mine for over 20 years now (I've probably mentioned that about a gazillion times), and during all those years I've gathered a lot from Arcaiia - my world. I've got 61 documented dimensions (though Arcaiia has well over billions of dimensions, so there's still more to explore), a grand total of 200 races (so far), 515 original characters (omfg, they won't stop popping up), and I've got material for 7 books, tons of various small stories, several games (including a large-scale online game), lots of mangas/comics, and an anime + a couple of movies. And that's just a drop in the ocean, really, cause the only limits for what I can do with this world of mine is my own imagination, and we all know how limitless that can be.

Recently, I finally got around to organizing those 20 years of work, so now I know what I've got, and I'm starting to plot what to do with all of it. I want to open the gates to Arcaiia, and invite people in and let them see this world of mine. Problem is; I have no idea where to start. Which is why I'm turning towards my friends/watchers, and asking for help. What do YOU want to see? Where do you want me to start opening those gates? I've got quite a lot of options, and I'd love to hear your opinions/thoughts/wishes on the matter, so if you can take a moment to look through these options - they are listed below - and place a vote IN THIS POLL RIGHT HERE, then I'd be very grateful.

1) Worlds of Arcaiia
Primary focus is on Arcaiia as a world, and I'll work on maps and detailed information about all the documented dimensions of Arcaiia, which would include information of the various planes of existence, plus much more.

2) Races of Arcaiia
Pictures and various detailed information about the 200 races that has so far been found in Arcaiia, which will include common lores and information on the societies of the races.

3) Souls of Arcaiia
Pictures and/or profiles and/or character sheets of the 515 original characters that is the center of my stories.

4) Elements of Arcaiia
Magic and the elements is a very important part of Arcaiia and it's stories, so this will provide all the important information you need to have about the 15 elements and magic in general.

5) Backstories
Various backstories that follows the characters in my stories, which includes lots of prequels with various information about important events in the history of Arcaiia.

6) Teen Warriors
The very first proper story that introduces some of the main characters of my stories, and basically where everything started rolling towards where everything's going now. TW was originally intended to be an anime, but I've started writing on it in bookform for now, so if I work on this then you'll get the full story, along with pictures of the characters in it.

7) Manga/Comic
This'll be quite the challenge, cause I've never done any kind of manga/comics before. But this would be a small handful of stories from Arcaiia drawn as some kind of manga or comic.

8) Beginners Intro, option A
A small handbook with the most important things you need to know about Arcaiia. It will include the Story of Creation, some basic information about Arcaiia and the planes of existence, maps and information about some of the most important dimensions, information and pictures of the most common races, the class system I'm working on, and maybe even some profiles on some of the main characters in my stories, along with some general lore about the Arcaiian world in general. Basically, if you know Dungeons & Dragons, this'll be the Arcaiian version of the Player's Handbook.

9) Beginners Intro, option B
The RPGmaker game I'm planning to make, where you'll play as one of my main characters as they travel around some of the main worlds of Arcaiia, feeding you small bits of information of the worlds in the process. It'll function as a sort of story-telling RPG-ish kind of thing. Ish. Though not as detailed as the Handbook of option A, this option will give you a basic intro to the world in the same way the book does.

10) Beginners Intro, option C
Vlogs of Arcaiia - Just like option A and B, this'll feed you basic information about Arcaiia and everything in it, and it'll be done through videos that'll be uploaded to youtube, which will basically just be me talking about things and showing you pictures.

If you've got some other ideas of what I can do, and where to begin, then please let me hear it. I am open for suggestions, and eager to hear what you're all thinking!

The idea is that, at some point, I'll do ALL of these things, of course, but right now I just need one thing to start with. It won't be done today, or tomorrow, and maybe not even next month (I still have way too much to do in the apartment these days), but this'll give my head something to focus on, and start plotting on, so I can scribble down notes inbetween all my apartmentwork. And, hopefully, sometime next year I'll be able to present something to you all.

Thank you for your time~ :heart: